Would like some feedback on a mix ( 138bpm Electronic )

[Sk1nZ]

Id like to get some feedback on a track and mix ive been working on as i would like to know where i stand. To my ears i think its the best i can do but i only have 5" monitors and headphones so im limited to monitoring low end so id like to know what it sounds like on other systems, especially bigger ones than mine

Its a 138bpm electronic track with a rolling bassline, some dark vocals and quite a big lead melody and im open to any ways it could be improved as it will be the first track ive produced and mixed myself

Uploaded to Youtube instead of soundcloud as i think im right in saying the audio is better quality with a HD video?

EDIT: Track removed, may upload an updated version soon

[wagtunes]

Mix wise it sounds okay. Seems to me like it could be more wide open. Seems kind of boxed in a bit. But I'm not expert so see what other think. Musically, I'd prefer a little more variation given the length. Took too long to even get going with what was basically a 3 minute intro that had very little variance.

Vocals were cool. Lead was okay but got monotonous after a while. Some variation there would have been nice too.

On a 1 to 10 scale I give it a 6.

[Benedict]

Hi

I think the mix works fine. I can hear everything I seem to need to and nothing sounds "wrong" so you did fine there.

Wags is right tho as a track is far more than a Mix, it is about the story it tells and while the track is ok in each short portion, it lacks a strong enough structure to make it compelling listening. The lead is an example as it only has one loop that repeats over and over with no variation or answer to its question. The intro is the same as it starts building tension then because that is not used/released, it turns into meh.

Get that sorted and you can be going places.

[Sk1nZ]

Thanks for the feedback

Musically, I'd prefer a little more variation given the length

Can you explain the variation, more sounds and motifs??

Wags is right tho as a track is far more than a Mix, it is about the story it tells and while the track is ok in each short portion, it lacks a strong enough structure to make it compelling listening. The lead is an example as it only has one loop that repeats over and over with no variation or answer to its question

Agreed its more than a mix but thats what has been really lacking for me so took this old track and tried to mix it best i can which is why im after feedback as im really not sure if the bass is too much, lead is too harsh, needs more reverb, stereo width etc...

How would you suggest improving the structure to make it more compelling?

[Benedict]

Agreed its more than a mix but thats what has been really lacking for me so took this old track and tried to mix it best i can which is why im after feedback as im really not sure if the bass is too much, lead is too harsh, needs more reverb, stereo width etc...

How would you suggest improving the structure to make it more compelling?

Well, as I said the mix seemed fine, but remember that a mix can't really be great if the material being mixed is not great itself.

Funny you should ask about expanding the melodic side of things as I just published a video where I develop a 4-part track from a 3-note Ostinato into an Arrangement. This shows all the core things you need to know to be able to expand your ideas from static loops to vibrant pieces.
https://youtu.be/VNXrZZZd3qs