Giving up - my thoughts, what are yours?

[tooqsoundscape]

So like, we got to be realistic with ourselves as we get older (well I know I do) I am 41 started music production at 23, come from a family of musicians and I actually stopped composing around a year ago. It is painful giving it up, I do still like music though and play for the love of music, any of you guys n gals out there doing the same? How do you deal with the break up? what kind of self CBT do you do for yourself? I just dont have time now, I didnt make much money from it either.

When I play its more painful than enjoyable, anyone the same? is a dramatic/emotional composer a good composer?

Its a horrible subject and I have read 'never give up', but seriously? some of us just need to do that I believe.

There are two things that bug me the most;

1)Not utilizing everything I have learnt which is a hell of a lot

2) Listening to my tracks - just painful remembering the magic of making tunes.

Just writing this actually makes me wonder if I am a self-centered producer (I have never felt comfortable calling myself a producer either because my product didnt have much benefit to customers an audience (customers), I called myself a composer.

either way looking forward to hearing your thoughts people!

[astralprojection]

the one thing that killed my creativity many years ago, was the abundance of good sounding vsts.
back in the reason 5 days, you were forced to use what was there and it sparked creativity alot.
now where every daw sounds neutral, every vst sounds good (relatively speaking) i dont know something just died within me. this ofc is not true for most musicians / music writers as they see tools avaliable as a blessing, but I know its not true for me. Having a vast VST library just made it worse for me personally. But I dont think you should give up, unless you really want to. But if you still feel in your heart you have more music to give to the world, stick to it, but limit yourself on using just 1 or 2 VST instruments, and force yourself to use just those. And only stock plugins for mixing.

[Robmobius]

It's about tenacity over talent sometimes.
If I'd given up I'd never have gotten into audio post-work. I'm older than you by the way...

But if you really feel that you are genuinely done then maybe find that hobby that will inject that lost passion.

[chk071]

Is it just me, or do these threads and threads like "Help, I have tinnitus and can't produce music!" come up frequently?

[Robmobius]

Is it just me, or do these threads and threads like "Help, I have tinnitus and can't produce music!" come up frequently?

Ironically I have tinnitus but I still produce music. You can only ever give up when you're dead.

[vurt]

some days, everything hurts.
some days i play through the pain.
some days i do nothing.

i gave up working with others years ago, as the pain would mean cancelling sessions, letting other people down.
but to not play ever again? why make a decision like that, when the future could change anything!?

even if i can only manage half hour a week, im still doing it!!!

[chk071]

Is it just me, or do these threads and threads like "Help, I have tinnitus and can't produce music!" come up frequently?

Ironically I have tinnitus but I still produce music.

Me too. But, I'm sure that, on a scale from 1 to 10, it's rather a 5 or 6 for me. I also imagine that it has gotten better now that I'm on hypertension meds for a while...

[Unaspected]

You can only ever give up when you're dead.

This is how I see things. The concept of quitting working with audio does not exist to me. I don't even know what that means or what it would entail.

However, we all need different things and if the OP needs to take an extended break, then he should do so. Age doesn't matter. You can learn and apply yourself to new ventures at any age.

There's nothing wrong with stopping something you have done or tried to do for a long time. It can demonstrate bravery and wisdom in being able to recognise when things aren't working.

[zerocrossing]

I started playing guitar when I was 14. 3 years later I had started messing with synths and drum machines. My goal was to become a performing song writer with an emphasis on studio production. After about 15 years of that, a few things hit me: While I loved writing and playing, I didn’t enjoy live performances that much. I hated traveling. I hated dealing with band politics. After my last band dissolved, I picked up a workstation keyboard (Ensoniq TS-10) and an audio looper (Lexicon JamMan) and began doing small solo shows, sometimes pairing up with a partner.

This went on for a while, but then my life and work started to make that difficult. I had a standing gig at a small club, and when it shut down, I never bothered to look for other shows. I never stopped doing music though. I don’t even think that’s an option to me. Instead, I’ve totally changed my mindset. I realized that the idea of success is really toxic, and the way the industry works is really broken. I’ve seen amazing acts languish and never go anywhere, I’ve seen terrible acts get prime spots at music festivals. Basically, what I’m saying is, don’t take it personally. You may or may not be great, but definitely don’t look to your level of popularity as a measure of your success. If you are happy and enjoying what you do, you have gained the highest level of success as an artist.

So, I’ve actually never been happier, and last year, I actually landed a job which has me doing music and sound effects for games. Is that what I was going for when I was 14? Nope. Also, I got the job because I had the skill and talent, but more importantly, because I was at the right place at the right time.

That’s where I am right now. I’m still making my own music. The game music is fun and challenging, but it is not a replacement for making my own stuff, even if that’s just me filling up RAM buffers with audio loops and making abstract and dark sounding ambient that disappears when the DAW shuts down. The game studio I work for is waiting for legal to send us a new contract for 2023, so it looks like I’ll have my gig for another year, but if I don’t, I won’t be that sad about it. I’ll just keep making music as I always have. I’m not even sure I have a choice.

[Robmobius]

Is it just me, or do these threads and threads like "Help, I have tinnitus and can't produce music!" come up frequently?

Ironically I have tinnitus but I still produce music.

Me too. But, I'm sure that, on a scale from 1 to 10, it's rather a 5 or 6 for me. I also imagine that it has gotten better now that I'm on hypertension meds for a while...

Glad the meds are working for your HT. I'd say mine is at a 2 or 3. So it only affects me when I have to record very quiet FX like Foley. But I'm somewhat used to it by now.

[Robmobius]

There's nothing wrong with stopping something you have done or tried to do for a long time. It can demonstrate bravery and wisdom in being able to recognise when things aren't working.

Absolutely! Taking a break is a great way to reinvigorate yourself.

[cryophonik]

Doesn't sound to me like you really need to "give up", but rather just find a way to make music in a manner that fulfills you. There's no reason you have to be a "producer" if that's not what you enjoy doing, so figure out what you find satisfying and fun and go with that instead. Maybe it's just playing guitar or piano, learning new songs, learning new instruments, playing and singing around the campfire, writing your own songs and have other people record, mix, and master them, or whatever. Personally, I think way too much emphasis is put on the "producer" label these days. In my book, a talented musician trumps a talented producer any day of the week.

[machinesworking]

I only ever thought I would "make it" in the late 80's when my band was doing music like Ministry and NIN before those bands came out, in the case of Ministry before Land of Rape and Honey came out. There was massive potential for money etc. at that specific time, with that specific band. Beyond that I tend to like music nobody else likes, or more specifically I don't like polished commercial product. So the idea of success just seemed stupid and only achievable by compromise as far back for me as the 90's.

So since I got back into using computers and sequencers for music in the late 90's, I haven't thought about it as a way to make a load of money or get much attention from other people. It's a process, something I do for myself more than others, when a song is completed and I like what I've done, that's the best. The whole part of music that requires you to promote and distribute this music to other people absolutely doesn't interest me in the slightest, I have an unusually low tolerance for salesmen and that include myself, so promotion is a huge obstacle to recognition and fame, which I acknowledged years ago as paramount to success. The musician I know the best who made it to selling platinum records etc. came from a family of lawyers and was great at schmoozing with record executives.

The keyboard player in my band that had a big chance of commercial success in the 80's is now burnt out on music because of his feelings of failure on not getting it to work for him. I don't relate to that at all, when most of your favorite bands also have to work day jobs, you tend to not care about recognition.

[Synthman2000]

Understand what you need from music. Often we are affected by how we feel in daily life when it comes to music. With any creative endeavor in life we must find a way so it gives us what we need. Rather than think of giving up, take some time to think about music, what you want to do, what you would like to try that you did not yet, change the times you make music.

Set some tasks or goals.. try and change the approach a little so you modify the relationship. I feel I have had to do this within some confines.If you do give up music make sure it has a very worthy replacement. I have not found anything that has filled the hole of not making music, yet. I have my moments when I cannot make music for a period. I think it is probably even healthy to break off sometimes. Other life experiences must sometimes take precedence. As a background to a music break,
think about what you really would like to do with music. Then adapt you mind, adapt your music, adapt your routines to try and reinvigorate your relationship with music making.

[kritikon]

Sound like OP is disappointed at not being able to make a living from music but still enjoys making music. Not sure why he feels he has to give up at all? Give up on trying to make a living out of it, yeah...though personally that was never my own aim anyway. It doesn't stop you playing for enjoyment. TBH I hated every second of "trying to make it" and the moment I stopped, then it became an enjoyable hobby immediately. I gave it a break for a few years for various reasons, not enough space, no time, got bored. Only recently back into music now I have space and time etc and thoroughly enjoying it again. No pressure (or intent) to do anything with it at all and happy with that.

TBH, most times I don't even complete tracks, or even start out doing that...I can just play around making riffs, making noise, just twiddling knobs for the sake of it. I might make a dub cover of an Abba song or something silly just to do something different and have fun - I've been known to d/l midi scores of classical symphonies and do it in 303 style. Whatever, but it's for my own enjoyment. I needed persuasion even to play anything I make to the missus, which she thought is weird. But it's not for anyone else, I don't give a f**k what anyone else would think about my music. Some here get all uppity about being a "real" musician only if you post music for critique. Again, some of us really don't give a f**k because it's not our aim to "achieve" anything or complete anything or make perfect songs. If that's OP's problem, then it's a personal problem.

So, again...why do you have to give up something you enjoy? So, it's a hobby...so, what? Do you have parent issues because they're musicians, is that it? f**k em. You're an adult now.