[electro pop]exploding - brand new TorpedoTorpedo track...

[jens]

actually not brand-new

this once was my submission for the 'chase'-contest -
then I made together with Bina a song out of it...

then we stopped, because I wasn't satisfied with the mix and Bina wasn't satisfied with her vocals and her lyrics...

then I started to use eXT instead of Tracktion and now I exported the whole thing into eXT and finally finished it there.

I think I should use it as the first track on my demo I'm about to finish - I am really (well, at least nearly )
satisfied with it now


I hope you enjoy.

xploding

Any comments? Is there any obvious way in which I could improve it? Is there something disturbing?


edit: the file is now updated. (see below)

[jens]

I'm updating it now - the volume is too low - I forgot to normalize...

[vtx]

Held my interest all the way through ,,the voice is clean and soft[maybe a bit too soft for the fit ]
but it didn't bother me,,,maybe try and get some of the ,,getting air,, out of the vocal before the next line..

I like the whole idea...thanx

[luCiPHer]

from the moment the screaming leadsound strats i like this, but the beginning... i don't know, quite busy, singing sounds way out of tune in those seconds too, but that may be because the singing just does not fit the music

well, but most of it i like

p.s. der tradition zuliebe, wenn ich sachen von dir kommentiere muss auch ein deutscher satz rein

[annode]

Yeah! Really nice work.

Will save this.

Her voice might sound better in this thinned out though...sound has too much body maybe.

Excellent sequencing!

[vurt]

I'm updating it now - the volume is too low - I forgot to normalize...

unt zis vill be your undoing in our duel!


you say pop!i say the weasel!
i really like this jens,mix seems fine but what do i know
yep nice track indeed.

[Hunter]

Very nice track

Great production to my ears.

You have a very high voice for a bloke though

I felt the kick was bit too much, its very prominent in the mix.

nice

Jim

[Armadillo]

Great tune....but a lot of things could be improved.

I love the vocal, very catchy, but the delay is too sibliant. And too loud, sounds like two girls singing , but with different timing

Not too keen on that "sonar" sound in the beginning, maybe it's just too off beat.

The snare is flat compared to the kick, let it smack.

Don't like the break at 1.15-1.21 min. at all, sorry. Too many sounds happening right after each other.

The overall sound in the chorus is great. Well apart from the snare

Ends very abrupt. Only 2.37 min. Give it another minute. Well, the good thing about the length is that I'm already listening for the 4th time in 10 min.

But very catchy vocal and well recorded.

To sum it up in one line: Potential is there, but a bit rough around the edges.

[jens]

thanks for all the nice comments and suggestions

yesterday I took some of them into account and did a new version:

exploding

The old link still works so you can compare.

- I changed the vocal mix and the beat & drum-sound of the intro

- I lowered the volume of the kick

- I raised the gain of the snare & re-programmed its sound

- I changed the sound of the main lead-synth

- I raised the gain of the bass of the alternative chorus (before the end-section)

- I reduced the delay and raised the distortion on the vox

+ some other small changes

Imo the chorus of this version isn't as catchy
because the gain of the kick is lower & the snare is more prominent.
- This song has a strange syncopated rhythm and is really fast (180bpm )

Thus imo there actually isn't any real space for the snare and the kick has to give the beat.

But maybe I'm wrong?

What do you think?

[luCiPHer]

nononono good at all
the first version is superior in every single aspect

focus on the kick, and keep that BIG leadsound, those are the strong elements of this song

[kara]

A very good one And clear production, I like it.

Only comments I could give. It sounds to me as the vocals have a really hard time to keep up with the ritme of the song in the very first chorus. Sounds a bit as running behind...

Rony

[jens]

nononono good at all
the first version is superior in every single aspect

focus on the kick, and keep that BIG leadsound, those are the strong elements of this song

thanks

but what about the changed intro?

[jens]

A very good one And clear production, I like it.

Only comments I could give. It sounds to me as the vocals have a really hard time to keep up with the ritme of the song in the very first chorus. Sounds a bit as running behind...

Rony

thank you, Bucodi

the vox is the same for every chorus - yes, it is slightly off-beat - the rhythm is really a tough thing - sounds catchy, but don't listen too carefully to it

[Armadillo]

ok.... here's the verdict.

Better. Snare seems too far back though, is it reverb or just too low still? I much prefer the snare at 1.12. That's the right volume and more upfront.

The lead is 2-3 dB too loud, it was that as well last time, I just didn't mention it

Intro is great now. Well..... apart from that *I* think the octave lead is a bit too simple, at least when it's just by it self. But that's just me.

Still ends a bit abrupt though .

[luCiPHer]

thanks

but what about the changed intro?

listened closely and compared.
well, the changed intro is better in some aspects, but the vocals sound quite unpleasent.

so, keep the new introsounds, but take the old vocal back (exept for that "here it comes", keep that as "small" as in the new version) and simply thin it out a bit for the intro, so it's a little more floating above the sounds...