I bought too many soft synths

[VOODOO U]

I don't have a beard. Only hippies have beards.

but not all hippys have beards, ergo, you are a hippy.

Nope. I never tripped when watching the Star Gate scene in 2001 A Space Odessey.

Only a hippy or a drummer would brag about the kinds of vomit inducing stories he's been regaling us with.

My apologies. Let's talk reverb.

[Uncle E]

Don’t get mad! You’re a drummer, not a hippy!

[VOODOO U]

Don’t get mad! You’re a drummer, not a hippy!

Nope. I'm no drummer. I show up to rehearsals.

[vurt]

I don't have a beard. Only hippies have beards.

but not all hippys have beards, ergo, you are a hippy.

Nope. I never tripped when watching the Star Gate scene in 2001 A Space Odessey.

Only a hippy or a drummer would brag about the kinds of vomit inducing stories he's been regaling us with.

My apologies. Let's talk reverb.

your music sounds like phish!

[Dirtgrain]

wine?
middle class hippys.

If you say so. I'm saying, for the third time now, I'm no hippie. I've never been to a Grateful Dead concert and I never f**ked Grace Slick.

That you know Grateful Dead concert attendance reveals one's hippiness just brings you under more scrutiny.
Quick test:
Patchouli scent, yes or no?
Name three scents of incense.
How old are your Birks? (And don't come with that "I have never owned Birks crap." We know this much about you)
Shower how many times a week?
Even if you are a tough SOB, do you walk around slouched and looking like a wuss?
Have you legally changed your name to the name of a plant, vegetable, spirit animal? For instance, "Willow" is a dead give away.
How many roaches of 1980s Himalayan Black Monkey Paw does it take for a 1980s daily toker to get a buzz?
Have you smoked Black Lab? Do you know what it is?
How many times a day, on average, do you say, "Hey man"?

I know I'm missing a ton--add on if you like, people. (Note: Using "people" to refer to a crowd of people whom you are amidst is another dead give away.)

[donkey tugger]

There he is!

[VOODOO U]

your music sounds like phish!

Impossible. My songs have verses and choruses.

Quick test:
Patchouli scent, yes or no?

Yes. i put some on the rim of my anal rectum so when i shit it smells all nice and pretty.

Name three scents of incense.

I can't even name 3 members of my family and you want me to name 3 scents of incense???

How old are your Birks?

You spelled the name wrong. Anyhow, Mary Burke is 25, Lisa Burke is 32 and Stephanie Ann Burke is a smokin' 48 year old that looks 30. They all enjoy sharing me.

Shower how many times a week?

I don't understand the question

Even if you are a tough SOB, do you walk around slouched and looking like a wuss?

Only when the Burkes whip me and treat me like a bad dog.

Have you legally changed your name to the name of a plant, vegetable, spirit animal?

I tried but I couldn't get approval for Ornithogalum adseptentrionesvergentulum the 1st.

How many roaches of 1980s Himalayan Black Monkey Paw does it take for a 1980s daily toker to get a buzz?

Have you smoked Black Lab? Do you know what it is?

What are you, a cop? I know nuthin.

How many times a day, on average, do you say, "Hey man"?

Zero. I prefer, "Hey chicken f**ker".

[Dirtgrain]

How old are your Birks?

You spelled the name wrong.

You have been fooled into giving everything up. Exposed, hippie!

[gaggle of hermits]

Don’t get mad! You’re a drummer, not a hippy!

I knew it. he's a beatnik.