What's the stupidest thing you've heard said about music?

[metamorphosis]

I get this one all the time from clients ...

"I listen to the radio and all I hear is crap. My stuff is way better, and all my friends agree."

Nice
My favourite doesn't relate, but I used to have a drummer in one of my bands. When we asked him what he did for a living, he replied "I lift heavy things...". LOL!! Drummers eh... That band went through 5 of them. In the previous band we had gone with a drum machine, so this was probably karma coming back to us...

[The Chase]

im c**ting tired of the whole connection to music and clothing. Its the worst thing about high school. You gotta "rep what you wear"

[Gymnopedies]

That it Matters...

[Hovmod]

a person referring to a piece by Download said,"that's just not music. Anyone could do that, it's all just totally random. there's no creative process going on there, etc, blah blah blah."

A surprising amount of guitar players have said similar things about Frank Zappa. That he seems to just do random sweepy things and then make up something wherever he ends up or something.

Those people annoy me a lot. They play themselves, and aren't capable of hearing what he's doing. Or they've heard it from a player they admire. That often decides what people think about stuff they don't understand...

[james0tucson]

"Nobody actually enjoys that noise, and if they say they do, they're really lying. They only listen to it to make themselves feel superior to others."

I feel that way about certain categories of food.

[the_nihilist]

a person referring to a piece by Download said,"that's just not music. Anyone could do that, it's all just totally random. there's no creative process going on there, etc, blah blah blah."



...needless to say, the body was never found.

Which Download album?

Man, I wish I could find another copy of Furnace... my old one got stolen, and they're out of print now...

[Meffy]

Don't know Download, but I recall several people saying much the same about Morton Subotnick. "Random boops and bleeps. No talent. Not REAL MUSIC." Yeah. They said that about bebop too, and rock, and... well. Y'all know the drill.

And about "modern art" too -- "It's all fake! They just slap paint on a canvas, it's not REAL ART." *hikes nose high in air*

[The Chase]

And about "modern art" too -- "It's all fake! They just slap paint on a canvas, it's not REAL ART." *hikes nose high in air*

worse than that, i told my brother's wife (by far the cuniest female i know) that i didnt like ONE painting she had on her computer. She cam back with "Eh, you just dont have a taste for modern art."

I c**ting hate people like that!

I Dont like modern art? then what is MY art? shitflaps!

[Hink]

shitflaps?

[mikemusicked]

A client once asked us to a track "crunchier" since it was a track for Apples (food not computer).

Playing at a country club they wanted us to turn the volume down so they asked us to "turn it down an octave". We preceded to turn the volume down on the PA. We finally turned it off. Our group had; Electric Gtr (running thriugh the PA), keyboards (through the PA), Elec Bass (through the PA) and an Electronic Drum Kit (through the PA) and a vocalist. When we turned the PA off they told us the volume was perfect.

[Hink]

A client once asked us to a track "crunchier" since it was a track for Apples (food not computer).

Playing at a country club they wanted us to turn the volume down so they asked us to "turn it down an octave". We preceded to turn the volume down on the PA. We finally turned it off. Our group had; Electric Gtr (running thriugh the PA), keyboards (through the PA), Elec Bass (through the PA) and an Electronic Drum Kit (through the PA) and a vocalist. When we turned the PA off they told us the volume was perfect.

did yah detect any hints there... ...j/k...

[james0tucson]

When we turned the PA off they told us the volume was perfect.

Are you sure that wasn't a polite way of saying you won't be invited back for the next party?

[ross g]

shitflaps?

that's my latest "joint"


"shitflaps

my bitches got shitflaps

shitflaps

yo bitches got zip-flaps....
(she ain't got nothin' on her)

shitflaps...."


ok that's enough of that...


rg

[Har]

Here's another one that definitely seems generational (in that I hear it a lot from people even older than me ):

"Music has to have a catchy melody, otherwise it's not music."

My usual reply is something along the lines of: "Yeah, well...I think there's quite a few orchestral percussion players who'd disagree...and who might rip your head off if you told them what they do 'isn't music because they're not playing a catchy hummable tune'".

[Har]

Ah, just remembered yet another! Here's an annoying one my old bassist from a cover band I was in back in the 80's used to trot out in an obnoxious snotty sing-songy voice every time I mentioned how much I hated a particularly popular female singer back then:

"You know, I was standing on the corner the other day waiting for the bus...and up drives a limo with that singer. She rolls down her window and I told her, "Hey, your music sucks!" She then said, "Hey, you're 100% right...my music really does suck!" Then she drove off in her limo and I continued waiting for my bus to go to work."

Because, of course: it's not how good the music you make is...making the big money is the only important thing.

(I think I eventually threatened to do something violent if he ever started babbling that friggin' story again just one more time...haven't heard it from him since )