Observations and questions about fanboyism/hate patterns in this and other foums

[el-bo (formerly ebow)]

Rule No. 18: If you use your jampoints to buy jam, you're in the wrong shop!

unless you visit the custom jam shop (CJS)™

[Tricky-Loops]

Rule No. 19: If you think WUP has the same effect as Viagra, you're on the wrong medication!

[whyterabbyt]

Rule No. 15: If you're modulating the modulators, don't complain about earthquakes!

Rule 15B : Do not even attempt to modulate the moderators.

[Sampleconstruct]

Rule 15B : Do not even attempt to modulate the moderators.

Very important!

EDIT: but this is now rule no. 17B, not 15B.

[Sampleconstruct]

General forum rules

Please note: all threads are reruns, the internet is a loop.

Rule No. 1: posting smileys always works.
Rule No. 2: IKM threads will attract IKM haters like shit attracts the flies, it will only attract a few self-confident IKM lovers, because the rest feel ashamed to be IKM lovers.
Rule No. 3: calling Valhalla fanbois Valhalla fanbois is politically incorrect.
Rule No. 3B: if you don't like Valhalla products, only an otolaryngologist can save you!
Rule No. 4: calling Omnisphere an outdated rompler with a shitty granulator will raise the blood pressure of Omni fanbois and will satisfy the sadism of Omnisphere haters.
Rule No. 5: calling u-he fanbois u-he fanbois will evoke pages over pages of flamewars, dozens of temporary and permanent bans and will animate more u-he haters to call u-he fanbois u-he fanbois, and it will attract all bored forum lurkers like shit attracts the flies.
Rule No. 6 : Never take yourself too seriously
Rule No. 6B: take yourself seriously, with so many hobbyists on the forum this will give you a special status.
Rule No. 7 : Clean underpants.........ALWAYS !!
Rule No. 8: if rule no. 1 doesn't work for you, apply rule no. 6.
Rule No. 9: developer bashing is only political correct if the bashed developer is more on the unpopular side.
Rule No. 10: Don't try to stay awake the whole night! You will feel like a zombie at 8 a.m.!
Rule No. 11: Setting up a poll requires some manipulative skills, choose your poll options accordingly and lock the thread or reset the poll if the poll's outcome is not in your favour. As the "Fish"-option is so 2010, come up with something more intelligent as the last option in your poll.
Rule No. 12: don't post anything substantial in Reason threads as it won't get heard anyway and is just a waste of time and forum bandwidth.
Rule No. 13: don't call overpriced software underpriced or underpriced software overpriced, this will only confuse and bias other forum members who haven't made up their mind yet and are just waiting for the next no-brainer.
Rule No. 14: if you consider yourself an elitist, be opposed to EDM, if you consider yourself to be more of a mainstream person, make sure to love EDM and frequently post "how do I wobble my bass"-topics in the sound design forum.
Rule No. 15: if you're a super-producer, don't tell people that you're 13 years old and have only been producing on your mobile for 9 months!
Rule No. 16: always check the ID of your groupies!
Rule No. 17: If you're modulating the modulators, don't complain about earthquakes!
Rule No. 17B : Do not attempt to modulate the moderators.
Rule No. 18: never question a Melda product in the Melda forum!
Rule No. 19: in a thread about mastering always repeat the same slogans and tips you have learned by reading threads about mastering.
Rule No. 20: before browsing the forums, always check your popcorn supplies.
Rule No. 21: only follow a fashion if you have learned enough empty phrases to support your followism. So if you're using terms like e.g. analog, digital, warm, cold - get an idea first what these terms could actually mean.
Rule No. 22: insulting other forum members using vulgar language is only a good idea if you add some positive smileys to your insult. So writing "youfuckingprickheadgetareallife" is not a good idea, whereas writing "you f**king prickhead, get a real life!" is much more sociable.
Rule No. 23: Treat the forum police and wannabe mods with respect, this will add positive Karma to your account and suggest a feeling of importance to the wannabe mods.
Rule No. 24: Always try to derail a Steinberg thread!
Rule No. 25: Increase your post count by setting yourself a daily target, as forum members with high post counts are generally more respected and can sell more outdated trash in the MP at a higher price. Simple "+1"-posts will help you achieve this goal.
Rule No. 26: If you're a developer, try to position your products in as many threads as possible, put a little effort in disguising your spamming as useful posts though.
Rule No. 27: If you claim, Tone2 software products phone home, prepare for the shitstorm by the few Tone2 lovers left on the forums.
Rule No. 28: When igniting or adding fuel to a flame war, please make sure you are free and can post often and repeatedly. All of KVR is waiting to hear your next clever retort, and to see those ignorant noobs in put firmly in their place with your supreme grasp of not only wordplay, but of esoteric facts gleaned from years of reading about others doing stuff.
Rule No. 29: actively participate in as many "whats-the-best"-threads as possible, for that purpose prepare templates for synths and effect plugins, so that you can pull out dozens of random suggestions whenever one of these threads pops up.
Rule No. 30: to separate yourself from the herd, always claim that you consider using presets and soundsets as lame, this will give you a special aura and impress forum newbies who hardly know how to start their computer. If you do browse the Soundware forums to check out the latest mediocre crap published by wannabe sound designers, hide your online status!
Rule No. 31: Mention zero delay feedback filters as often as possible to impress the masses, if you don't know what they are, post random screenshots of whatever seems appropriate.
Rule No. 32: try to establish personal warfare with selected forum members over the years. This will give you the impression of valuable social interaction and keep you busy when you're bored.
Rule No. 33: Don't fight the rabbit!
Rule No. 34: Keep the mods busy by frequently denouncing your fellow forum members using the red report-button.
Rule No. 35: If you want to bash a certain developer in a dedicated thread, use capital letters and lots of exclamation marks in the thread title, words like BEWARE, ATTENTION, WARNING, RIPOFF, VAPORWARE will attract fellow bashers like shit attracts the flies and ensure your thread a big success until it will get locked eventually.
Rule No. 42: DON'T PANIC !!

More rules are being currently evaluated, stay tuned.

So maybe someone make this a sticky somewhere.

[2ZrgE]

Rule 43: You can't mix/master on headphones. Don't even try!

Rule 44: You can't master your own tracks. What are all those pennyless mastering engineers for?

[Tricky-Loops]

Rule 25: If your plugin is made with Synthedit, ask for 64 bit! If it's made with Synthmaker, spend your Mac! If it's made with C++, call Marco!

[nasenmann]

rule no. 33: don't fight the rabbit.

[bibz1st]

If there is one thing I cant stand

[mellotronaut]

General forum rules

Rule No. 1: posting smileys always works.
Rule No. 2: IKM threads will attract IKM haters like shit attracts the flies, it will only attract a few self-confident IKM lovers, because the rest feel ashamed to be IKM lovers.
Rule No. 3: calling Valhalla fanbois Valhalla fanbois is politically incorrect.
Rule No. 3B: if you don't like Valhalla products, only an otolaryngologist can save you!
Rule No. 4: calling Omnisphere an outdated rompler with a shitty granulator will raise the blood pressure of Omni fanbois and will satisfy the sadism of Omnisphere haters.
Rule No. 5: calling u-he fanbois u-he fanbois will evoke pages over pages of flamewars, dozens of temporary and permanent bans and will animate more u-he haters to call u-he fanbois u-he fanbois, and it will attract all bored forum lurkers like shit attracts the flies.
Rule No. 6 : Never take yourself too seriously
Rule No. 6B: take yourself seriously, with so many hobbyists on the forum this will give you a special status.
Rule No. 7 : Clean underpants.........ALWAYS !!
Rule No. 8: if rule no. 1 doesn't work for you, apply rule no. 6.
Rule No. 9: developer bashing is only political correct if the bashed developer is more on the unpopular side.
Rule No. 10: Don't try to stay awake the whole night! You will feel like a zombie at 8 a.m.!
Rule No. 11: Setting up a poll requires some manipulative skills, choose your poll options accordingly and lock the thread or reset the poll if the poll's outcome is not in your favour.
Rule No. 12: don't post anything substantial in Reason threads as it won't get heard anyway and is just a waste of time and forum bandwidth.
Rule No. 13: don't call overpriced software underpriced or underpriced software overpriced, this will only confuse and bias other forum members who haven't made up their mind yet and are just waiting for the next no-brainer.
Rule No. 14: if you consider yourself an elitist, be opposed to EDM, if you consider yourself to be more of a mainstream person, make sure to love EDM and frequently post "how do I wobble my bass"-topics in the sound design forum.
Rule No. 15: if you're a super-producer, don't tell people that you're 13 years old and have only been producing on your mobile for 9 months!
Rule No. 16: always check the ID of your groupies!
Rule No. 17: If you're modulating the modulators, don't complain about earthquakes!
Rule No. 17B : Do not attempt to modulate the moderators.
Rule No. 18: never question a Melda product in the Melda forum!
Rule No. 19: in a thread about mastering always repeat the same slogans and tips you have learned by reading threads about mastering.
Rule No. 20: before browsing the forums, always check your popcorn supplies.
Rule No. 21: only follow a fashion if you have learned enough empty phrases to support your followism. So if you're using terms like e.g. analog, digital, warm, cold - get an idea first what these terms could actually mean.
Rule No. 22: insulting other forum members using vulgar language is only a good idea if you add some positive smileys to your insult. So writing "youfuckingprickheadgetareallife" is not a good idea, whereas writing "you f**king prickhead, get a real life!" is much more sociable.
Rule No. 23: Treat the forum police and wannabe mods with respect, this will add positive Karma to your account and suggest a feeling of importance to the wannabe mods.
Rule No. 24: Always try to derail a Steinberg thread!
Rule No. 42 : DON'T PANIC !!

More rules are being currently evaluated, stay tuned.

So maybe someone make this a sticky somewhere.

all true ... still waiting for a Tone2 rule like:
"if you say,Tone2 software products phone home, you're in the right movie."

rule1 combined with rule22: you're all boring anal fixierte cabezas cuadradas

[Kriminal]

Rule#.. as soon as a new synth is released, make a(nother) 'JP Brass IW' preset...

[ghettosynth]

It's simple, just add the people that you don't like to read to your "foe" list. The threads become remarkably shorter and you can read them without all of the fanboyism and/or hate. I will add another category to that list for the OP, whining. As an example, this entire thread is one giant whine and isn't adding any real content of interest to KVR. I will add several people from this thread to my foes list so that I don't have to read further whining.

You see, no stress, no fuss, no complaining to the mods, no talking about other people, just a simple self-managed solution to control how KVR looks to you.

It works for me, YMMV.

[Aiynzahev]

re Ilok: the forum is a resource for developers. If we chose not to buy a plugin because of one particular factor, such as protection, it's useful for the developers to know.

We've seen companies move away from ilok, presumably it was somewhat due to pressure from customers.

But I agree with all the other stuff you posted.

[mcnelson]

Rule#.. if you say your DAW sounds better than Logic / Ableton / Cubase / Reaper / Sonar, it does actually sound better and we all trust you implicitly, for thou hast golden ears.

[bibz1st]

If there is one thing I cant stand

Ah,... missed out a comma and a pause there...
If there is one thing, I cant stand