Who would be in a boy band??

[Bunnyboy]

Okay this is more of a rhetorical question, but really, think about it. (or dont if it makes you afraid).

I have always had trouble with the idea of boy bands, not from a musical, marketing or exploitation points of view, but from the actual members.

So, half-decent looking teenage boy ('cause they are never actually really good looking) is sitting at home gazing at his posters of N*Sync, the Backstreet Boys, Blue, etc thinking

"oh I so want that life. Singing awful songs to 12 year old girls, having to be pushed around by stropping middle-ages managers (who might have a crush on us), forced into a unsavoury plasic world of sugar-spun fads, and having to exploit a possible non-existant gay part of my personality/sexuality to make us appeal to the gay market"

I mean, what do they want to get out of it?? Music credibility? hmmm, I dont know about that one. Money? Hah! unless you write the songs, you will have none to show for it. Girls? Well only if you are inclined in the Garry Glitter way...

I mean what is it??? how come they want to do this instead of being in Linkin Park/Limp Bizkit/The Merry Thoughts, etc???

I just find it odd that teenage boys want to be placed in such a heart-bleedingly awful situation with zero control over your life and nothing to show at the end.

I hope that this does not come across as sexist or homophobic, cause it aint meant to be. Girl bands have a long and illustrious history that blows boy bands out of the water.

Oh and the Jackson 5 / The Jacksons dont count

[Col.G]

I just find it odd that teenage boys want to be placed in such a heart-bleedingly awful situation with zero control over your life and nothing to show at the end.

I think Nick came out of it ok.

[HanafiH]

The Bay City Rollers:

1975 - Bigger than Elvis



2005 - Older than Elvis

[grease]

I mean what is it??? how come they want to do this instead of being in Linkin Park/Limp Bizkit/The Merry Thoughts, etc???

Yeah, because that would be a totally different lifestyle...

But let's see, someone is going to give me gobs of money, more than I could ever need, enough that if invested wisely allows me to retire as a millionaire at age 25, and in return I will do a job that at times requires quite a bit of work, but which at other times affords me extended periods of leisure time to pursue my artistic whims...I've been looking around for such a job, actually...I've sent in my resume many times for the Boy Band job but I haven't heard anything back yet...I'm really hoping that someone will put together a Boy Band of thirty-somethings....

[Col.G]

You go grease!
I wanna be in a man-band too!

[grease]

You go grease!
I wanna be in a man-band too!

N*Debt!!

[Col.G]

Hahaha
Thats good.

Men || Senior Citizens

[TVD]

Okay this is more of a rhetorical question, but really, think about it. (or dont if it makes you afraid).

I have always had trouble with the idea of boy bands, not from a musical, marketing or exploitation points of view, but from the actual members.

So, half-decent looking teenage boy ('cause they are never actually really good looking) is sitting at home gazing at his posters of N*Sync, the Backstreet Boys, Blue, etc thinking

"oh I so want that life. Singing awful songs to 12 year old girls, having to be pushed around by stropping middle-ages managers (who might have a crush on us), forced into a unsavoury plasic world of sugar-spun fads, and having to exploit a possible non-existant gay part of my personality/sexuality to make us appeal to the gay market"

I mean, what do they want to get out of it?? Music credibility? hmmm, I dont know about that one. Money? Hah! unless you write the songs, you will have none to show for it. Girls? Well only if you are inclined in the Garry Glitter way...

I mean what is it??? how come they want to do this instead of being in Linkin Park/Limp Bizkit/The Merry Thoughts, etc???

I just find it odd that teenage boys want to be placed in such a heart-bleedingly awful situation with zero control over your life and nothing to show at the end.

I hope that this does not come across as sexist or homophobic, cause it aint meant to be. Girl bands have a long and illustrious history that blows boy bands out of the water.

Oh and the Jackson 5 / The Jacksons dont count

New Edition are the original kings of ALL boy bands!

Everyone from New Kids On The Block to *NSYNC wanted to be them.

[Yagushi]

I just find it odd that teenage boys want to be placed in such a heart-bleedingly awful situation with zero control over your life and nothing to show at the end.

I think Nick came out of it ok.

I think extra emphasis should be put on "ok"... This particular Jessica ain't much of a catch... The Alba version on the other hand...

[The Chase]

youre looking at it the wrong way. It goes like this:

- someone who actually likes the music writes it and sells it to labels or agents
- the agents or labels gather semi-attractive boys (nearly always 5) who can half sing
- label/agency calls up clothing companies, who send fashion agents to dress them, and make up companies as well.
- An album is put together, BEFORE giving them all dance lessons (seriously)
- The label makes them all sad life stories that the brainless members adobt. The leader is usually a "hunk" given a sad story (usually a parent dieing), while the bass singer is given an "off tha streetz" story

- money is made through massive concerts and albums that are really clothing/make-up/electronics advertisements. Young teenagers are brain-washed and enslaved.

[bluedad]

You go grease!
I wanna be in a man-band too!

N*Debt!!

I qualify!

[opiadream]

Okay this is more of a rhetorical question, but really, think about it. (or dont if it makes you afraid).

I have always had trouble with the idea of boy bands, not from a musical, marketing or exploitation points of view, but from the actual members.

So, half-decent looking teenage boy ('cause they are never actually really good looking) is sitting at home gazing at his posters of N*Sync, the Backstreet Boys, Blue, etc thinking

"oh I so want that life. Singing awful songs to 12 year old girls, having to be pushed around by stropping middle-ages managers (who might have a crush on us), forced into a unsavoury plasic world of sugar-spun fads, and having to exploit a possible non-existant gay part of my personality/sexuality to make us appeal to the gay market"

I mean, what do they want to get out of it?? Music credibility? hmmm, I dont know about that one. Money? Hah! unless you write the songs, you will have none to show for it. Girls? Well only if you are inclined in the Garry Glitter way...

I mean what is it??? how come they want to do this instead of being in Linkin Park/Limp Bizkit/The Merry Thoughts, etc???

I just find it odd that teenage boys want to be placed in such a heart-bleedingly awful situation with zero control over your life and nothing to show at the end.

I hope that this does not come across as sexist or homophobic, cause it aint meant to be. Girl bands have a long and illustrious history that blows boy bands out of the water.

Oh and the Jackson 5 / The Jacksons dont count

Did you wake up with just the one monkey up your ass this morning?

You really lost me on the Boy bands vs Girl bands thing
I don't think the definitions are quite the same

seems to me when some women get together and form a band
no matter what type of music they play or how they present themselves
they're labeled a 'girl band'

and gosh I don't think you came across sexist or homophoboc at all
I mean my god
it's ok to be gay, but why would anyone want to do something as loathesome as appeal to the gay market.

[clueless]

Did you wake up with just the one monkey up your ass this morning?

You really lost me on the Boy bands vs Girl bands thing
I don't think the definitions are quite the same

seems to me when some women get together and form a band
no matter what type of music they play or how they present themselves
they're labeled a 'girl band'

and gosh I don't think you came across sexist or homophoboc at all
I mean my god
it's ok to be gay, but why would anyone want to do something as loathesome as appeal to the gay market.

I think Bunnyboy's girl band v. boy band thing is more Phil Spector v. Louis Walsh...

and I don't think he meant "do something as loathsome as appeal to the gay market" so much as "be cynically manipulated and exploited and cynically manipulate and exploit" the gay market.

[Jbravo]

well I think you have to be in a hugely successful (ie. in the US) boyband to actually get rich, and you do have to work your socks off for a long time. I believe the lead singer of Steps (ok, not a boyband) was on a salary of 70k which isn't that bad but one of the others was on 50 or was it 30? Meanwhile the fatcats rake in absolutely millions. I think most kids have a deluded idea of just what a fantastic lifestyle and social status they can achieve by being in such a commercial band.

I don't think boyband members have to do much different to appeal to gay men than to appeal to teenage girls, except maybe do their performance routine at Heaven and G.A.Y. instead. It's not as if they're expected to have sex with anyone....

[A_Gruesome_Discovery]

I started a project a few years ago called "Das Jungen Band", which was an all German-speaking boy band in brown military suits and very similar haircuts. It was just me and this other guy, but Photoshop made us a band of six. Kraftwerk meets N*Sync meets 1940's Berlin, singing happy pop songs with somewhat disturbing lyrics. I think I thought I was making a point about the homogeneous pop landscape at the time, but I was a teenager, so who knows what the hell I was thinking. It was funny in a kinda offensive way, but I'm glad I never put enough effort into it to finish.
So yes, I have actually been in a boy band, if satire counts.