TV remote control size sampler/sequencer

[voseone]

Looking for a portable lightweight hardware sequencer, with resampling capabilities.
with like a gig of storage memory. Up to $300.

That I can either transfer wav/mp3 files from a flash drive or upload from my computer and phone for use when I'm away from home.

I understand that there are all kinds of amazing apps, computer software and controllers for programs on the computer.

But what I want is pads. And a no nonsense standalone device that I can fire off one shots (either monetary or toggle) and Loop sound clips.
A literal no brainer device to sequence sound files. That doesn't require another device to run.

The livid minim seemed like an alright idea initially. But it only runs with iphone.
And doesn't have any storage memory.
1. I'm not an iPhone person.
2. I'm not into iTunes or clouds.

Actual pads that I can hit to sequence and save ideas.
Reason for this is, is because an app is fine for when I'm away from home. But I don't like using the touchscreen on phones. And I just don't need that much going on in the forefront of what the initial idea for when an idea to sketch comes to mind. Plus there aren't any pads to take off with.

SP303 - Err message. Dated.
MPC - device is to busy.
MPX8 - Doesn't sequence.
Korg volca - IOS app stuff.
Maschine - runs with computer
Launchpad - runs with computer.
Monome - runs with computer.
Beat thang - reviews say it's slow any buggy
Monster godj - only 17 folders recognized for use.
Toraiz SP16 - too rich for my blood.
MPC Live - too rich for my blood.
OP1 - too rich for my blood.
Octatrak - too rich for my blood.
Tempest - too rich for my blood.
Digitakt - too rich for my blood.
Synthstrom deluge - unavailable
Keyboards - too big.

So the only possibilities would either be the novation circuit, or electribe sampler? Is there anything else?

Suggestions would be appreciated, within the parameters of what the topic is based on.
Ie. Portable, lightweight, standalone hardware, with Polyphonic and sequencing capabilities.