First Tune Posted. Be Gentle Heheh. Kidding. Kick My Ass

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Hello everyone. Total respect for you and the website. I am not quite done with this but I need some input. Obviously I am re-doing the vocals, but out side of that what else? thanks in advance.

http://home.comcast.net/~radmarc/Throwi ... l_Away.mp3

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:o I thought this was rather good! Good lyrics and musicianship. You playing all the instruments? Anyway, I like the vocal effect although I thought it should "sit forward" in the mix a bit more. I liked the drums also except for the cymbal crash. But maybe that's the mp3 quality. The bass aslo seems to get louder near the 3:00 mark when you start doing the vamp part. Love the piano solo! Sounds like there might be a pad/strings in there but its too muffled for me to tell. If it is bring it up! Of course maybe my headphones suck. Anyway, Welcome to KVR! :D Great work. If you have more please share it.
"..because anybody can
or should be able to rock off turntables
Grab the mic, plug it in and begin
..." -KRS-One
www.myspace.com/synthlegend

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hey man,

for a first post, that was a great song. vocals were excellent, not sure about the reverb or chorus on them though. piano was very nicely done too. the distorted guitar i absolutely hated. not the notes, but the sound itself. i think for this song you could get away with a clean strumming sound. it was also a minute too long for me. all just my opinion, but i'm very anxious to hear more from you! :D

lates

t-willy

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Yes, I am playing all the instuments. That is Piano and Guitar. The rest is VST . .. Cubase. This tune has NOT been mastered so yes I would assume that there are a series of things that sound off. For me they are the Vocals in parts, Strings and Cymbals. I am really having a tough time with pulling the strings out. I guess I could let them take over? Anybody have any tips? I can't seem to locate where they should go if I do bring them up. Seems like they drown out the Vocals (Lyrics). Any pointers will be greatly appreciated. I am only gonna take on this tune one more time as I am sick to death of it . . . I know you all know what I mean.

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What an entrance!
Big welcome to KvR. :D

This song...
is beautiful. :love:

Can't fault the songwriting or the musicianship, but the mixing needs some attention imo.

There's a hell of a lot of clipping, especially from about 2.40 onwards.
Looks like you've hard-limited it a little too much. :wink:

{EDIT}
This song has not been mastered
Bang goes that theory then :lol:{/EDIT}

It's a bit muddy as well. Gets a bit hard to tell the instruments apart from each other. The piano needs to be brighter as well.
Over-all, I think a bit of careful eq'ing to sit all the elements in their individual spaces would definitely benefit this tune.

That said, it's on its third loop here - so the mixing's a bit naff, but under all that, there's a most brilliant song.
You've got a great voice btw.

If you remix this, I'll look forward to hearing it very much. In the meantime, I think I'll just hang on to this little ditty of yours; I think it'll get quite a bit of play here. :D

7/10, but I might have pushed it to 10 if the mix was better. :wink: :)[/quote]

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Turn up the bloody vocals! :D

Good song sir, just a few comments about the arrangement, you're obviously going for a pop type sound (good, good!)

You could make it a bit more dynamic and hooky by a bit of pruning, as I think it tends to sit all on one level at the moment.

Eg, you could take out the piano in the 1st verse after the intro, so it's just vocal, drums and bass, say bring it back in at 1 min 7 secs. Then perhaps cut the guitar from the next verse, so it finally comes in at 2 min 33 (tambourine is a good idea at that point too, but its a bit metronomic as it is, it needs a bit more dynamic on the up and down beats) And for the final section perchance a bit of a strings wig-out (a la the stones 'you can't always get what you want'), and a bit of strummed acoustic guitar?

Anyway, just random donkey thoughts, nice to hear a bit o pop round these parts. :D

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really not my cup of beans, so I should probably keep me mouth shut, but I liked the vox actually! and you got pointers from Donkey Tugger, which is always a good sign.

welcome to KVR :D

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That is a very good song, and your singing is good as well! For some reason it reminds me a bit of the band Supertramp. (not sure exactly why)

I agree, the vocal could be louder. It sounds a bit boxy as well. Like maybe a bit too much low and/or high cut out (or maybe just the sound going in was that way)

The Piano could be brighter as well, but I would only boost highs with a good sounding EQ like the UAD Pultec. Maybe just a bit in the 8-10 K range.

Arrangement wise, what *I* would do is add a big chorus of AAAHs in 3 or 4 part harmony in the upper register following the chord changes through the whole section between about 3:45 and 4:45. Maybe around 24 tracks or so bounced down to 2 and panned fairly hard left and right. Then slap a huge sounding reverb on it. That's just what I hear right off the bat during that section.

Good stuff!!
Image

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welcome to kvr !

please listen to donkey advices carefully, he's the top pop king around (although plunge is coming from behind fast... :-o :shock: :D )

what can i say? this is very very pleasant.
the vocals need to be more up-front and drier (IMHO).

great song ! 8)

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Quick Question. I agree that the vocals and strings have to be more up front. Does that mean that I have to pull back some thing else? Or just pan it elsewhere?

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I'd suggest starting with lower volumes on everything, then bringing up the sounds you want to be up so they sound ok, then work around that.
Or take the loudest sound, set it low and sit everything around that.
It can often takes many tweaks until you get it sounding just so...
Work this in conjunction with your eq's as well.

Also for the panning, I wouldn't pan any sounds that already have a stereo effect on them, or the bass.
For other sounds, a little left here, a little right there, a lot left here, a lot right there... and so on.
Balance them out, again until it sounds right and you have everything in it's own space. :wink:

Again, just my opinion. :D
Don't know if that helped at all...

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great song! you've got enough suggestions, so I won't add, except to say I agree with jeff about adding some ahhs.
:wink:

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Great tune! It has a late 70's feel to it. I like the vocals personaly. My suggestions? Keep the distorted guitar in and boost the vocals.

Thanks for the tune. 8)

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Excellent tune! Thanks for sharing it with us.

To my untrained ears, I agreed about the piano needing to be a bit brighter. But at the same time, I found most of the drums to be TOO bright. Or perhaps they weren't too bright, but just put almost too much into their own space. The hi-hat is sitting out front where the vocals should be, which means that most of the song I'm listening to the hi-hat instead of the singing.

The kick and crash seem fine. The snare is probably fine, but it's hard to tell if it's snappy or not with all that hi-hat in there. I like snap in a snare, though, so I probably wouldn't mind.

I'm not sure what that is that comes in at 2:35 for percussion... some sort of ride? To me, it's even more pronounced than the hi-hat, because not only is it way up front, but it's hard-panned.

For the guitars, I have opinions, but they're all from a guitar-player's perpective, so they might be a little biased. For example, I would like to see some riff-type motifs going on in a the higher registers. I don't know how to describe what I mean, but some three- or four-note lines (either arpeggiated inversions, or simple licks) that recall the notes of the chords and/or the melody, but without simply repeating them.

Great tune, though!!

Greg

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sounds great, dude. You have a great voice and excellent melodic sense.
"Ooo, look at me, I'm making people HAPPY! I'm the Magical Man from Happyland! In a gumdrop house on Lollypop Laaaaaaane!" - Homer Simpson

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