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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1714 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Post Sat May 11, 2019 3:27 pm

Right, this is another one I've spent a lot of time on. I kind of think it's done, but there's a couple of things I'm slightly insecure about... I wont say what (maybe I'm imagining things because I've spent too much time with it).

Let me know what you guys think.

Cheers! :tu:

(link removed)
Last edited by an-electric-heart on Sun May 12, 2019 3:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

experimental.crow
KVRAF
5771 posts since 9 Mar, 2003 from The Druid Hills

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 4:03 pm

well , it certainly presents itself as something that a lot of time ,
and thought has gone into ... it is well crafted , balanced and mixed quite well ...

i'm tempted to say just leave it , because you could ...
i'll address one thing , because ... opinion ...

you have some wonderful dynamics happening , with instrumentation , and volume
controlling the impetus of the track ... it works quite well ...
i suggest you accentuate those changes a bit more ...
as an example , i offer the buggles ' jonny on the monorail ' ...
i often use this track as an exemplar of pop dynamics ...

that said , this is quality work ...
i quite enjoyed it ...
Image

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1714 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 4:15 pm

experimental.crow wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 4:03 pm
well , it certainly presents itself as something that a lot of time ,
and thought has gone into ... it is well crafted , balanced and mixed quite well ...

i'm tempted to say just leave it , because you could ...
i'll address one thing , because ... opinion ...

you have some wonderful dynamics happening , with instrumentation , and volume
controlling the impetus of the track ... it works quite well ...
i suggest you accentuate those changes a bit more ...
as an example , i offer the buggles ' jonny on the monorail ' ...
i often use this track as an exemplar of pop dynamics ...

that said , this is quality work ...
i quite enjoyed it ...
Cool! I wonder if it's the drums that stop it from being more dynamic, it's just one loop and doesn't really offer much variation.
I was trying to do something similar to the beat from Learning to Fly (in particular the live version), I've got rototoms all over this album;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHuN1RwhnEo

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Bansaw
KVRian
536 posts since 19 Aug, 2008

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 5:30 pm

I like your stuff. We have similar kind of appreciation for retro.
Vocals are good.
Love the synth riff @3:00 & Rhythmic elements at 3:14
@3:31 great breakdown.
My only comment would be the distorted guitar. That takes up a lot of frequencies and there are times when the vocal and it are having a bit of a competition.
I'm being fussy, overall, loved it.

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wagtunes
KVRAF
15538 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 7:12 pm

My Feedback

Music - 10
Instruments - 10
Performance - 10
Mix - 10

Overall - 10

Comments: Sounds like something off the radio back in the 80s. I'd pay to see a video of exactly how you put this together. I'm assuming this is all ITB and not done at some professional recording studio. If I'm wrong and this is a professionally made production done at some million dollar studio, then it pretty much illustrates that you're not getting a radio ready mix from Fruity Loops at home. So I'm very curious as to which it is, studio or home.

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donkey tugger
Boss Lovin' DR
5597 posts since 15 Mar, 2002 from the grimness of yorkshire

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 7:40 pm

experimental.crow wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 4:03 pm

you have some wonderful dynamics happening , with instrumentation , and volume
controlling the impetus of the track ... it works quite well ...
i suggest you accentuate those changes a bit more ...

I'd agree with that, and also take it one stage further. You've obviously got a good grasp on the essentials of mixing (and it is a good mix overall) but I think now you can afford to be a bit more adventurous in terms of catching the attention with mix automation and arrangement tricks. For example, the mix is quite reverb-y overall (a bit too much for me..but that's a stylistic preference) and this seems to be all on one level - why not automate the level of vocal/instrument reverbs between sections to contrast between a more intimate and a bigger sound? Subtle tricks like that capture the listener's ear.

Also think you're missing a trick after the little breakdown at 3.30 (and I recognise NI strummed acoustic there....nerd.. :hihi: ). When it comes back in at 3.50 it's with the full range of instruments. I'd be more inclined to let the chorus go round at least one without bass and guitars, and probably without any hi-hats or percussion too stage the ending a bit more...

It's always good to sit down after you've written something and see how you can make it more dynamic and hook-y by cutting parts to really emphasise the 'full' sections.

Anyway, nice song - wouldn't have written all that if I didn't think so!

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1714 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 7:55 pm

donkey tugger wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:40 pm
experimental.crow wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 4:03 pm

you have some wonderful dynamics happening , with instrumentation , and volume
controlling the impetus of the track ... it works quite well ...
i suggest you accentuate those changes a bit more ...

I'd agree with that, and also take it one stage further. You've obviously got a good grasp on the essentials of mixing (and it is a good mix overall) but I think now you can afford to be a bit more adventurous in terms of catching the attention with mix automation and arrangement tricks. For example, the mix is quite reverb-y overall (a bit too much for me..but that's a stylistic preference) and this seems to be all on one level - why not automate the level of vocal/instrument reverbs between sections to contrast between a more intimate and a bigger sound? Subtle tricks like that capture the listener's ear.

Also think you're missing a trick after the little breakdown at 3.30 (and I recognise NI strummed acoustic there....nerd.. :hihi: ). When it comes back in at 3.50 it's with the full range of instruments. I'd be more inclined to let the chorus go round at least one without bass and guitars, and probably without any hi-hats or percussion too stage the ending a bit more...

It's always good to sit down after you've written something and see how you can make it more dynamic and hook-y by cutting parts to really emphasise the 'full' sections.

Anyway, nice song - wouldn't have written all that if I didn't think so!
Ah ha, I do do that! It's obviously not obvious though :hihi: . The vocals have (all on sends) chorus, plate reverb, chamber reverb and delay, but the levels (especially the delay) come down during the verses, then come up (to thicken) for the choruses.
And yeah, the break-down at the end is kind of "phoned-in" as they'd say, that was the last section I did, and I was stuck on it for some time... I tried a lot of different things, and finally got something that worked... even though it's not great.
And yes, you're hearing strummed acoustic, it's comes in at the breakdown and plays through the last chorus (it isn't in the earlier choruses). I normally like to have the final chorus be fullest section and add things just for the final chorus, I tried to do a third vocal track with soaring falsetto improv' stuff... but it just sounded worse with it.

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1714 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 7:58 pm

wagtunes wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:12 pm
My Feedback

Music - 10
Instruments - 10
Performance - 10
Mix - 10

Overall - 10

Comments: Sounds like something off the radio back in the 80s. I'd pay to see a video of exactly how you put this together. I'm assuming this is all ITB and not done at some professional recording studio. If I'm wrong and this is a professionally made production done at some million dollar studio, then it pretty much illustrates that you're not getting a radio ready mix from Fruity Loops at home. So I'm very curious as to which it is, studio or home.
Cheers!

All Fruity Loops.

This one needed to be in two sessions because my computer was on it's knees with all the Kontakt instruments, I had to export the music and the do the vocals in a separate session... that's never ideal!

Image

User avatar
an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1714 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sat May 11, 2019 8:20 pm

Bansaw wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 5:30 pm
I like your stuff. We have similar kind of appreciation for retro.
Vocals are good.
Love the synth riff @3:00 & Rhythmic elements at 3:14
@3:31 great breakdown.
My only comment would be the distorted guitar. That takes up a lot of frequencies and there are times when the vocal and it are having a bit of a competition.
I'm being fussy, overall, loved it.
Cool, cheers! Interesting about the guitars. I did turn them up quite a bit because I wanted the "wall of sound" when they hit for the chorus, I think there's actually 6 guitars all playing power chords in the chorus. I wonder if it's a case of me kind of hearing it, and mixing it as a rock song, and you hearing it as a dance song, so the guitars are kind of prioritised differently.
I mentioned above I was unsure about something, it is to do with the guitars, but it was more that the guitars are killing the definition in the bass/arp thing during the chorus. I'm kind of feeling that the chorus is full and the bass is doing it's job, but you can't hear what it's doing... it's probably fine though. :tu:

User avatar
wagtunes
KVRAF
15538 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sun May 12, 2019 3:01 am

an-electric-heart wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:58 pm
wagtunes wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:12 pm
My Feedback

Music - 10
Instruments - 10
Performance - 10
Mix - 10

Overall - 10

Comments: Sounds like something off the radio back in the 80s. I'd pay to see a video of exactly how you put this together. I'm assuming this is all ITB and not done at some professional recording studio. If I'm wrong and this is a professionally made production done at some million dollar studio, then it pretty much illustrates that you're not getting a radio ready mix from Fruity Loops at home. So I'm very curious as to which it is, studio or home.
Cheers!

All Fruity Loops.

This one needed to be in two sessions because my computer was on it's knees with all the Kontakt instruments, I had to export the music and the do the vocals in a separate session... that's never ideal!

Image
Well, I am truly impressed.

rob_lee
KVRAF
7515 posts since 16 Oct, 2006 from North East UK

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sun May 12, 2019 3:05 am

Absolutely love this.. sitting here in the sun with a few beers in the garden listening to this.. fab stuff, more please :tu:

10/10 great sound and production keep it up :party:

Rob

andrelafosse
KVRist
252 posts since 18 Jun, 2010

Re: Destination Sleep (another original I'd like some feedback on)

Post Sun May 12, 2019 9:44 am

Great job - and to me, the relatively "homogenous" arrangement is very style- and era-appropriate. So much modern music makes a big deal out of huge contrasts between sections, but this kind of "through-line" arrangement and production style is a big part of what makes '80s stuff sound the way it does. Excellent!

User avatar
an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1714 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Re: removed

Post Sun May 12, 2019 3:23 pm

Thanks for the feedback, team. I think the general opinion is that "it's fine as it is", I've taken it down again, and it wont surface again until the album is released... now onto the next song. :wink:

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