Half finished hiphop track with vocals, want to get feedback :)

[Mesmerized Angel]

Here it is:

https://soundcloud.com/user-211959681/jucy-11-005

Happy for any feedback and constructive criticism

[an-electric-heart]

I'm just listening on my laptop, so I can't really critique the mix, it has the potential to be a really good song.
One thing I'll comment on is the vocals; They sound really restrained, I think it needs to be preformed much more aggressively, and maybe get some autotune on there.

[mindstuff]

Mix is muddy, try cutting some low/mid frequency...if you lose some bass doing that lookup pultec trick...vocals are not my favorite part, just sayin...

[thecontrolcentre]

Vocals don't sound sincere ... and there's too much "motherfuckin'" in the lyric for my taste (presuming that's the chorus). Music has a very 1980s vibe to it but the drums aren't cutting through.

[Mesmerized Angel]

I'm just listening on my laptop, so I can't really critique the mix, it has the potential to be a really good song.
One thing I'll comment on is the vocals; They sound really restrained, I think it needs to be preformed much more aggressively, and maybe get some autotune on there.

Aw thanx =))

Yes the vocals could be more agressive, but I tried that and it got too much instead =/ Bits and pieces will get re recorded a bit more agressive though. As far as auto tune is concerned i am prolly not going to be using it.

Mix is muddy, try cutting some low/mid frequency...if you lose some bass doing that lookup pultec trick...vocals are not my favorite part, just sayin...

Aw, but i kinda like "mud" It's not too bad? I have snuck up a new copy now (top of the page) where I removed all under 70 hz now cuz of your comment, but i dont think it's enought for you.

Vocals don't sound sincere ... and there's too much "motherfuckin'" in the lyric for my taste (presuming that's the chorus). Music has a very 1980s vibe to it but the drums aren't cutting through.

I don't understand what you mean about sincere? Could you elaborate? The vocals aren't really about anything context wise at this time. The mf word is used a lot to "fill up" the lyrics, when I was freestyling the lyrics hehehe. Might remove it, might not. Yes it's the 80's all over again, but I now snuck up a new version (top of page) where the kick drum is more prominent. Hope it pleases you =)

[Bansaw]

Its quite retro. I dont know why a picture of Russ Abbot came into my mind, but probably he did something like that at one stage. I dont think swearing in the lyrics is adding to the street cred.
Try doing some creative EQing on the vocals. I remember Trevor Horn saying his vocal wasn't good (Video Killed the Radio Star) so they cut the hi's and lows out and EQ'd his voice so it sounded more processed.

[Mesmerized Angel]

Its quite retro. I dont know why a picture of Russ Abbot came into my mind, but probably he did something like that at one stage. I dont think swearing in the lyrics is adding to the street cred.
Try doing some creative EQing on the vocals. I remember Trevor Horn saying his vocal wasn't good (Video Killed the Radio Star) so they cut the hi's and lows out and EQ'd his voice so it sounded more processed.

I did as you said, and cut out some lows on the vocals, and added a little 3-4 khz to add clarity I think it sounds much better now. Hope you approve! The new version is uploaded over the old (top of page).

[Mesmerized Angel]

Uploaded a "clean" version of the chorus, no more MF words =)) Decided to ditch it.

https://soundcloud.com/user-211959681/jucy-11-007

[Bansaw]

I did as you said, and cut out some lows on the vocals, and added a little 3-4 khz to add clarity I think it sounds much better now. Hope you approve! The new version is uploaded over the old (top of page).

I think you could even go a bit more extreme with the EQ (and saturation).
Have a listen to Buggles "Video killed the Radio star" on youtube.