Does this track work?

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Hi,

This post is for people who are into rock music aka radiohead/floyd. If you're a dance music person... you should probably ignore this post.

Anyhoo, the rest of you, I have been working on writing/recording a track for the past three days and it is driving me f*ing nuts!

I started with one intro and then tried to write a verse for that. So then I wrote the verse. And then I had to come up with a chorus. So then I came up with a chorus.

But the chorus didn't suite the verse. So then I wrote a new verse and scrapped the original.

But then the new verse didn't suit the intro. So then I scrapped the intro and wrote a new intro.

And now I have a 100% completely different song to the one I wrote in the first place!

So next thing was to write guitar lines and melody. All of which I have done about 50 different versions of each. I have spent about 12 hours a day on it for the past three days. It's even had about 5 different types of drum beats. Grrr.

So. What I am left with is the son, of the son, of the son, of an idea, that I had once upon a time (with the son, of a son, of a son, of a vocal melody and guitar line and drum patterns).

Needless to say I have lost all objectivity at this point...

I have a version with no lyrics (there is a vocal melody but I am just singing random words). needless to say it's 100% work in progress so dont expect a finished masterpiece.

http://www.jvmultimedia.com/mp3/latest.wip.mp3

So tell me does this f*ing thing works or not!

All advice welcome.

JV :D

p.s. I Repeat. It's just random words that I'm singing of the top of my head. So take no notice of the words.

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The intro runs longer than I would like it. But only by a little. I really like the build up. Maybe a melody(guitar/keys) on top of it all would help it build more and not seem as long. The change into the chourus is to abrutpt. (which I am told about my music alot of time, oddly enough). I think a pre chourus would tie it together nicely. The change out of the chourus Is nice.

Did I mention I like it. Cool tune.

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Todd24, thx for feedback.

Cheers,
JV :D
Last edited by jv2222 on Tue Jul 26, 2005 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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i hit the link but i got taken to some page with alot of advertisements... whats up with that? im going to have a hard time trusting your links anymore man... im disturbed.

out

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Last edited by jv2222 on Tue Jul 26, 2005 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Oh. FFS. I put it up again.

(I did a minor tweak to make the chorus less abrupt).

Anyhoo...

http://www.jvmultimedia.com/mp3/latest.wip.mp3

What do ye think?

JV :D

p.s. Don't forget its really a work in progress thing right now.

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ttoz wrote: I totally disagree with Todd's comments, i thought the intro was the perfect length.
Cool!
ttoz wrote: Funny, I also thought the way the chorus comes in is the highlight! The chorus is my favorite part, really cool chords!
what you heard is slightly different to the version that Todd24 heard. The guitars were a LOT louder in the version he heard. So maybe that makes a difference.
ttoz wrote: I tried not to take notice of the lyrics but it's hard!
Ok. Well thanks for trying anyway.
ttoz wrote: i think the verses need some work, some more layers.
Ok. Thats good advice about the verse I will layer it a bit more.
ttoz wrote: basically I think the chord progressions in the chorus are fantastic,
I think you're onto something though, definitely, this dance head enjoyed it so far!
Ok. That's good enough for me. I will keep working on this accursed song until its finished. Cos I was just about to scrap it!

JV :D

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