NUSofting

liqih · Post by **liqih** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:18 pm

This short message would be sent to all past customers, just once

Hello,

you are receiving this "sent only once" message thanks to your previous purchase
of one or more products by nusofting.com, dashsignature.com or dashsynthesis.com.

We invite you to visit the NUSofting web site, to check our current audio plugins line
of virtual intruments and effects, and to subscribe to our newsletter.

NUSofting Trial Versions downloads:
http://www.nusofting.liqihsynth.com/download.html

please fix it for me?

Thanks

ZioKiller · Post by **ZioKiller** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:22 pm

liqih wrote:This short message would be sent to all past customers, just once

Code: Select all

Hello,

you are receiving this "sent only once" message thanks to your previous purchase
of one or more products by nusofting.com, dashsignature.com or dashsynthesis.com.

We invite you to visit the NUSofting web site, to check our current audio plugins line
of virtual intruments and effects, and to subscribe to our newsletter.

NUSofting Trial Versions downloads:
http://www.nusofting.liqihsynth.com/download.html

please fix it for me?

Thanks

I'd replace "sent only once" with "one-time" and "thanks to" with "because of"

Oh... wait... I'm not english!...

Meffy · Post by **Meffy** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:22 pm

Perfectly understandable as it is, but there are a few little issues. I would put it like this:

Hello,

You are receiving this "one time only" message because of your previous purchase of one or more products made by nusofting.com, dashsignature.com or dashsynthesis.com.

We invite you to visit the NUSofting web site to check our current line of virtual intruments and effects, and to subscribe to our newsletter.

Download NUSofting trial versions:
http://www.nusofting.liqihsynth.com/download.html

[edit: I'm not English either, but my Gramma was part English.

Polite Company · Post by **Polite Company** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:30 pm

Meffy's version looks good to me. Your original version though was pretty clear it just suffered from some redundancy which is pretty common for non-native speakers.

liqih · Post by **liqih** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:31 pm

Ok no english people on KVR now?!, LOL

kidding, thanks guys, <wink>

Musical Gym · Post by **Musical Gym** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:32 pm

Hello,

Thank you for your previous purchase of one or more of our products at nusofting.com, dashsignature.com, or dashsynthesis.com.

We invite you to visit the NUSofting web site at http://www.nusofting.liqihsynth.com to check out our current line of audio plugins, virtual instruments and effects, and also to subscribe to our newsletter.

Direct link to NUSofting Trial Versions downloads: http://www.nusofting.liqihsynth.com/download.html

(This is a one-time-only message and will not be sent to you again.)

liqih · Post by **liqih** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:33 pm

ah see you now Polite, thanks!

BTW I knew about "because of" but it seemed nice to write "thanks to"

liqih · Post by **liqih** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:33 pm

Thanks Gym as well!

ZioKiller · Post by **ZioKiller** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:45 pm

Let's do another variant:

Hello,

you are receiving this previous purchase because of your one time only message of one or more products by nusofting.com, dashsignature.com or dashsynthesis.com.

We invite you to check our current NUSofting web site, to visit the audio line of plugins intruments and effects, and to subscribe to our virtual newsletter.

Meffy · Post by **Meffy** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:05 pm

I like Gym's suggestion of putting the "one-time" part at the end. ZioKiller's version would be great if anyone on your mailing list is an advanced dadaist; they'll understand instantly.

geoffrey · Post by **geoffrey** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:07 pm

Another variation:

Hello,
Thanks for your recent purchase of one or more products by nusofting, dashsignature or dashsynthesis. This message is a one time only communication.
We invite you to visit the Nusofting web site, to check our current audio plugins line of virtual instruments and effects. While visiting our website, please subscribe to our newsletter.

liqih · Post by **liqih** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:07 pm

dadist or wine drinker like Guido, <grin>

ZioKiller · Post by **ZioKiller** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:14 pm

liqih wrote:dadist or wine drinker like Guido, <grin>

My wireless keyboard went low on batteries while modifying your message and it unexpectedly shuffled a few words...

I don't drink alcoholics.

Btw, thank you for subscribing my one time purchase of virtual messages.

liqih · Post by **liqih** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:31 pm

ok it's the wireless keyboard drunk, <grin>

Musical Gym · Post by **Musical Gym** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:00 pm

Probably a better idea would be to send all customers the link to this thread.
No need to use middle man.

NUSofting

KVR Audio

english grammar help?