This is probably the most fantastic post ever createdcamsr wrote:You think that's a conspiracy? Lemme tell you something about bread. Ever since the advent of the internet and the proliferation of nutritional knowledge, people have been gravitating away from your standard cut white bread and more towards the healthy grains. Now, white bread is the de facto standard when it comes to toasters. Everyone has a toaster that can toast white bread. I decided white bread wasn't in my best interests and started to buy whole wheat bread, which is indeed baked wider. Now, I go to put my bread in the toaster, and it doesn't fit right. Either I have to scrunch it in, or nibble off the crust. Now I gotta buy a new toaster, because my bread isn't backwards compatible. But the new toaster, cooks bagel cuts. So I say, why not save some energy, and toast my french rolls and pita bread, in the toaster? I put it in, and one side of the bread is now sticking out, hence untoasted. I try to angle it in, but it fails. Now I am hand over fist with large denominated tender, looking for a thick and deep toaster, asking all the salespeople where it is. Meanwhile, my testosterone levels have decreased and my bread is not toasting correctly. Corporate bigwigs are looking through security cameras, laughing at my plight, while they sell toasters to Wonderbread kids, who think bologna is Russian for mastication. But then I realize that supply and demand is working well, as they supply a toaster that won't toast my bread, while I demand a toaster that will. As I was busy arguing with a salesperson, I saw my wife looking doe-eyed at a vegetable peeler. Do you think she is cheating on me?
^^^ but not so much for what looked to be a published article.That's probably the best post I've ever read on these forums.camsr wrote:You think that's a conspiracy? Lemme tell you something about bread. Ever since the advent of the internet and the proliferation of nutritional knowledge, people have been gravitating away from your standard cut white bread and more towards the healthy grains. Now, white bread is the de facto standard when it comes to toasters. Everyone has a toaster that can toast white bread. I decided white bread wasn't in my best interests and started to buy whole wheat bread, which is indeed baked wider. Now, I go to put my bread in the toaster, and it doesn't fit right. Either I have to scrunch it in, or nibble off the crust. Now I gotta buy a new toaster, because my bread isn't backwards compatible. But the new toaster, cooks bagel cuts. So I say, why not save some energy, and toast my french rolls and pita bread, in the toaster? I put it in, and one side of the bread is now sticking out, hence untoasted. I try to angle it in, but it fails. Now I am hand over fist with large denominated tender, looking for a thick and deep toaster, asking all the salespeople where it is. Meanwhile, my testosterone levels have decreased and my bread is not toasting correctly. Corporate bigwigs are looking through security cameras, laughing at my plight, while they sell toasters to Wonderbread kids, who think bologna is Russian for mastication. But then I realize that supply and demand is working well, as they supply a toaster that won't toast my bread, while I demand a toaster that will. As I was busy arguing with a salesperson, I saw my wife looking doe-eyed at a vegetable peeler. Do you think she is cheating on me?
And then stepped forth the most fearsome of all small kitchen appliances, the mighty TOASTER OVEN. With the ability to toast all sizes of sliced breads and bagels, and the added ability of making french fries, small pizzas and chocolate chip cookies, even the gods trembled before its multi-functional might.camsr wrote:You think that's a conspiracy? Lemme tell you something about bread. Ever since the advent of the internet and the proliferation of nutritional knowledge, people have been gravitating away from your standard cut white bread and more towards the healthy grains. Now, white bread is the de facto standard when it comes to toasters. Everyone has a toaster that can toast white bread. I decided white bread wasn't in my best interests and started to buy whole wheat bread, which is indeed baked wider. Now, I go to put my bread in the toaster, and it doesn't fit right. Either I have to scrunch it in, or nibble off the crust. Now I gotta buy a new toaster, because my bread isn't backwards compatible. But the new toaster, cooks bagel cuts. So I say, why not save some energy, and toast my french rolls and pita bread, in the toaster? I put it in, and one side of the bread is now sticking out, hence untoasted. I try to angle it in, but it fails. Now I am hand over fist with large denominated tender, looking for a thick and deep toaster, asking all the salespeople where it is. Meanwhile, my testosterone levels have decreased and my bread is not toasting correctly. Corporate bigwigs are looking through security cameras, laughing at my plight, while they sell toasters to Wonderbread kids, who think bologna is Russian for mastication. But then I realize that supply and demand is working well, as they supply a toaster that won't toast my bread, while I demand a toaster that will. As I was busy arguing with a salesperson, I saw my wife looking doe-eyed at a vegetable peeler. Do you think she is cheating on me?
So what you're saying here is that the toaster oven is Ron Paul?infectedpimple wrote: And then stepped forth the most fearsome of all small kitchen appliances, the mighty TOASTER OVEN. With the ability to toast all sizes of sliced breads and bagels, and the added ability of making french fries, small pizzas and chocolate chip cookies, even the gods trembled before its multi-functional might.
Hmm, Toaster Oven does offer some practical, non-partisan solutions to modern bread dilemmas. While Toaster oven does not wish to officially endorse any candidate at this time, Toaster Oven is not offended by the comparison drawn in your post.rifftrax wrote:So what you're saying here is that the toaster oven is Ron Paul?infectedpimple wrote: And then stepped forth the most fearsome of all small kitchen appliances, the mighty TOASTER OVEN. With the ability to toast all sizes of sliced breads and bagels, and the added ability of making french fries, small pizzas and chocolate chip cookies, even the gods trembled before its multi-functional might.
Submit: News, Plugins, Hosts & Apps | Advertise @ KVR | Developer Account | About KVR / Contact Us | Privacy Statement
© KVR Audio, Inc. 2000-2026
