Ok then. A complete waste of space and resources, good for nothing and good at nothing. His father has a couple of mathematics degrees but never could add up a golf scorecard. His mother would be pushing up daisies except that what's left of her was poured over a rose garden. His brother hasn't been machine-gunned despite all expectations. His sister started a life of crime but didn't like the hours. She became a corporate executive instead. (Personally, I'm not sure there's a difference).farlukar wrote:I'm the pathetic annoying git who has nothing better to do than point out that the guy who starts the “describe yourself” topic mostly describes his kit.werp wrote:19 electric guitars; 6 acoustics; 465 VSTs; Windows 7, 3.2 Ghz six core; 8 hardware synths; KRK VXT 6's & KRK 10" sub; bugger all room treatment; talent factor zero; Caffeine and Alcohol rating 12.9:
His wife is a doc who saves and improves lives. He is the owner of two cats, neither of which will speak to him because he isn't exactly a cat because he can't lick his own bits.
His two sons (aged 25 & 18) live at home because they have their own Xbox/ps3/PC and therefore have no need of girls (except for mum who does the cooking and laundry when she isn't busy saving lives and crap)
His preferred method of gardening is via bulldozer which is a shame because he hasn't got one.
He used to play golf, sail, ski, ride motorcycles and change light bulbs until a 44 tonne truck parked on top of him and took all the excitement away.
He has very old qualifications in audio engineering/ cinematography and other more recent and useful qualifications in plumbing, draining, gas fitting and remedial massage that he doesn't use because a 44 tonne truck parked on top of him and took all the excitement away. His restricted electrical licence ran out five days ago and he wonders if she will ever realise the error of her ways, change polarity and come back.
He was once described as as 'annoying little shit' which is a bit weird because he thought he was bigger.
Currently spends his time either horizontal or seated in his chair on an electric blanket hoping to wet himself and get it all over with. He occasionally has Forrest Gump moments only with not as much money or chocolate.
He doesn't drink water because it spoils his whisky.
He is open to answering questions as long as the answers aren't important or have anything to do with blood.
Did not discover girls until he was 23 whereupon he discovered two at once.
He was slightly surprised.




