egbert101 wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:05 pm
Fortunately I have other loves besides music, including cinema, games and writing.
Me too... but I can’t do gaming. My PC is too old. The last games I bought are from 2008 and 2011. They barely run. I sometimes have fun with them, but the low frame rate is really bugging my eyes and interfering with gameplay. I HATE PCs and swore to never build another PC. Yet, I priced a PC upgrade: around $600 on B&H’s website. You know, half of the very same money I’m planning to spend on music equipment.
Does gaming provide enough life satisfaction to spend money re-building a PC just for gaming? I mentioned this in my first post. I can’t bear the thought of spending that money for just gaming. That’s $600 I then cannot spend on studio gear.
Writing: I’ve had several novels of story ideas banging around in my head for most of my life. However, the end result takes so much more time; it feels so much less productive. I can share a song with friends and family after 24 hours of music studio effort, but writing a book takes mulitple years (of hard work), during which there’s not much to show off to prove you’re being productive.
I’m also trying to get a companion to write with me, but she’s too depressed about her own life situation and feeling guilty about not being productive with the work she does with her partner. I can relate. Most of my demotivation around the arts comes from my family raising me to think that the arts aren’t worthwhile activities to spend time on because they don’t generate an income (and I’m in poverty). But she also has cancer, and therefore a shortened lifespan with which to get things done (and she has mostly lived for the convenience of the situation and for other people, not for herself).
egbert101 wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:05 pm
Taking up a fresh art (for example photography), and running with it for three or six months, and then returning back to music, keeps things nice and fresh.
I totally agree with you. Doing something new for a while makes sense.
Photography is another of my hobbies/interests. I even went to school for a (useless) 2-year certificate program. It might’ve even became a career path, either as a contract photographer (is that like a contract killer?
) or artist (you know, because art is something we can live off of, ha ha ha ha). But... I get nothing accomplished with photography either. Similar reason:
I tried to do some photography this evening. I pulled some dirty C64 parts out of my garage and decided to photograph them before cleaning them (I like photos of broken & decaying technology). End result? Frustration. I have even less of the necessary equipment for this hobby.
When I upgraded to a Canon DSLR t5i (from a Canon PowerShot Pro-1), I got better quality hardware... which also demands better quality light (more pixels = less light available to each pixel). I wasn’t expecting that when I bought the camera. I only just confirmed this is the problem about an hour ago (despite it being a major roadblock since I bought the camera).
I do not have studio lighting. The lights I do have are shockingly unhelpful (if I don’t want grainy images; an ISO above 400 just looks terrible to me). Then there’s the tripod. It’s a video camera tripod and it is infuriatingly clumsy. All the low light photography I used to do with my Canon Pro-1... not only can I not seem to do that with this “semi-pro” DSLR, I can no longer tolerate my garbagey tripod.
A full-frame DSLR would have been a better choice. More light captured. Well, I couldn’t afford the full-frame cameras (and I really wanted the flip out LCD; so much of my style is based on being able to frame shots with the camera at odd angles, and the camera makers had some kind of refusal to do the flip-out LCD on their full frame cameras, as if that made them nothing but amateur garbage).
I’ve had lights and a proper tripod on my wishlist for ages, but I’ve been far more interested in music for the last several years because:
Just after finally spending money on the new camera, my 21” CRT died.
Essentially, just after spending a lot of money, I needed to spend even more money
. So, for years, I didn’t have a computer to work on photography (13” MacBook Pro is too damn small for much of anything). I finally bought a used 27” iMac about a year ago, but, by then I had gotten so frustrated with the light demands of my new (no longer new) camera, and the clumsiness of my shitty tripod, that I stopped having any interest in taking photos. Occasionally I do nature photography (mostly insects). My photo impulses were mostly killed by expectations of frustration.
This is actually very similar to my music production problem: I have SUFFERED to make art. None of this ever came easily to me and I have worked with what I could afford. I have STRUGGLED to produce creative works. It’s not like I’m lazy. It’s not like I give up easily. Or, I didn’t. I’ve just gotten so f**king fed-the-f**k-up with clumsy tools. It has killed my patience, my tolerance, and my motivation.