The Wagtunes Corner

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Wopelka
KVRAF
3207 posts since 22 Sep, 2003 from under the sun

Post Mon Mar 25, 2019 9:57 pm

Here we go. Please keep in mind that I intend my comment to be a constructive criticism. Nice song. The problem I have is that the voice and the piano are not melting together in a cohesive sonic space. The voice is narrower, heavily compressed and a bit dry. Besides, as it stands out upfront without lots of musical decorum, all the editing is made apparent, it does not sound natural enough. The atmosphere conveyed by the lyrics and the music is lost because of this, for me at least.
Maybe adding some warm strings might help glue everything together ?

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wagtunes
KVRAF
15198 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Tue Mar 26, 2019 2:54 am

Wopelka wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 9:57 pm
Here we go. Please keep in mind that I intend my comment to be a constructive criticism. Nice song. The problem I have is that the voice and the piano are not melting together in a cohesive sonic space. The voice is narrower, heavily compressed and a bit dry. Besides, as it stands out upfront without lots of musical decorum, all the editing is made apparent, it does not sound natural enough. The atmosphere conveyed by the lyrics and the music is lost because of this, for me at least.
Maybe adding some warm strings might help glue everything together ?
Thanks for the critique. Much appreciated. The production was exactly as I wanted it, warts and all. I could have dressed this up with a fancy production and covered up all the editing and blah, blah, blah, but I chose not to do so. I wanted to see if the song itself could stand up without all the window dressing. For some it will (Layzer said the best thing I've ever done) and for some it won't.

Ultimately, sometimes you have to stand by your convictions and go with what you intended regardless of what anybody thinks.

Maybe one day I'll do a version to please the masses.

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layzer
KVRAF
6531 posts since 11 Jun, 2006

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Tue Mar 26, 2019 3:30 am

wagtunes wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 2:54 am
For some it will (Layzer said the best thing I've ever done) and for some it won't.
yup. take a song like yesterday by the beatles
nothing fancy, but it drives home an emotion.

wag's tune is not perfect, but perfect enough
to do what a song should do, grab and hold
you till its over.
the vocals were clear, the piano sounded nice,
and the intimate soundstage fit the type of song. (imo)
bravo, once again wags :clap:
HW SYNTHS [KORG T2EX - AKAI AX80 - YAMAHA SY77 - ENSONIQ VFX]
HW MODULES [OBi M1000 - ROLAND MKS-50 - ROLAND JV880 - KURZ 1000PX]
SW [CHARLATAN - OBXD - OXE - ELEKTRO - MICROTERA - M1 - SURGE - RMiV]
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Wopelka
KVRAF
3207 posts since 22 Sep, 2003 from under the sun

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Tue Mar 26, 2019 4:46 am

As I said, the purpose of my post was to provide a constructive criticism. We all have strong convictions about our own output and that's great. But, IMO, if it's always nice and good to receive applause, all the more from respected and skilled commentators, getting feedback about what didn't work for others is even more interesting and potentially useful. Sometimes, when I find nothing good to say I prefer to remain silent. If I bother write something it means that, besides the fact I found the time to do it, the track and/or the author are worth it. I hope it clarifies (if ever needed).

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wagtunes
KVRAF
15198 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Tue Mar 26, 2019 4:52 am

Wopelka wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 4:46 am
As I said, the purpose of my post was to provide a constructive criticism. We have all strong convictions about our own output and that's great. But, IMO, if it's always nice and good to receive applause, all the more from respected and skilled commentators, getting feedback about what didn't work for others is even more interesting and potentially useful. Sometimes, when I find nothing good to say I prefer to remain silent. If I bother write something it means that, besides the fact I found the time to do it, the track and/or the author are worth it. I hope it clarifies (if ever needed).
Absolutely, and no offense was taken. In fact, on a purely technical level, I can't even argue with anything you said. I was simply explaining my reasons for doing the track the way I chose to do it, knowing full well that it would not be received well by those wanting a "better" production.

aaron aardvark
KVRAF
1527 posts since 22 Jan, 2011 from near Los Angeles

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Thu Mar 28, 2019 9:24 pm

wagtunes,
Thank you for the reviews! Now "At The End of the Day": For me, the strong point of the song is the piano melodies and piano playing. Very good! What did you use for piano? I find it much easier to write music with various synths, as opposed to purely piano. Though I have a few songs that are roughly half piano. Vocal melodies are very good. Singing is pretty good, though occasionally a little pitchy (my only significant gripe). Audio quality is good. A very good song! Lyrics: part sad, and part hopeful things will be better on the other side. :) Now to track down your other song.

aaron aardvark
KVRAF
1527 posts since 22 Jan, 2011 from near Los Angeles

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Thu Mar 28, 2019 9:38 pm

wagtunes,
'Losing My Mind": your singing is significantly better overall on this song. All of the melodies on this song are very good! Classic 70's rock in my opinion. For me, the 70's and the 80's were the best decades in rock music, but I'm sure my age has something to do with that opinion. I like the lead guitar and (keyboard/electric bass combo?) bass on the intro. Instrumentally, everything sound rather good! Nice job! :)

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ATS
KVRAF
6361 posts since 21 Dec, 2002 from MD USA

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:09 pm

reminded me some of really early Bowie. I always say I love your voice and I think it was perfect for this song. Really beautiful song. Well done Wags.

oh it was at the end of the day
my music: http://www.alexcooperusa.com
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls ~ Pablo Picasso

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ATS
KVRAF
6361 posts since 21 Dec, 2002 from MD USA

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:11 pm

Wopelka wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 4:46 am
As I said, the purpose of my post was to provide a constructive criticism. We all have strong convictions about our own output and that's great. But, IMO, if it's always nice and good to receive applause, all the more from respected and skilled commentators, getting feedback about what didn't work for others is even more interesting and potentially useful. Sometimes, when I find nothing good to say I prefer to remain silent. If I bother write something it means that, besides the fact I found the time to do it, the track and/or the author are worth it. I hope it clarifies (if ever needed).
yeah all my best feedback has been negative. It stung when I got it but helped a lot.
my music: http://www.alexcooperusa.com
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls ~ Pablo Picasso

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ATS
KVRAF
6361 posts since 21 Dec, 2002 from MD USA

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:12 pm

Wopelka wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 9:57 pm
Here we go. Please keep in mind that I intend my comment to be a constructive criticism. Nice song. The problem I have is that the voice and the piano are not melting together in a cohesive sonic space. The voice is narrower, heavily compressed and a bit dry. Besides, as it stands out upfront without lots of musical decorum, all the editing is made apparent, it does not sound natural enough. The atmosphere conveyed by the lyrics and the music is lost because of this, for me at least.
Maybe adding some warm strings might help glue everything together ?
I sort of agree with this. Vocals do sound a little too separate from the piano.
my music: http://www.alexcooperusa.com
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls ~ Pablo Picasso

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wagtunes
KVRAF
15198 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:16 am

Thanks for all the comments guys. Much appreciated.

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wagtunes
KVRAF
15198 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Wed Apr 03, 2019 5:35 am

In between projects now so posting an older track.

Was listening to this the other day and I thought to myself, "That's a hell of a catchy riff." Honestly, I don't even know how I thought of it. Anyway, sorry folks, it's a Vocaloid tune.

Hold Onto Your Head

Fruit cake, fruit cake who has got the fruit cake
Hand grenades in your eye
Bubble gum shoes while we sing the blues
Are you too afraid to cry

Tooth ache, tooth ache, do you have a tooth ache
More to come everyday
Blame it on me cause the pain is free
Doesn't matter anyway

It's your life
Though you want this one instead
Just be careful what you wish for
While you hold onto your head

Tea bag, tea bag, who has got the tea bag
Boiling water too
Soak 'em in rum cause it's way more fun
Till you end up fried and stewed

Head ache, head ache, do you have a head ache
Maybe it's screwed too tight
Bark at the moon cause we're all just doomed
Ain't a thing round here that's right

Repeat Chorus 2x

https://soundcloud.com/steven-wagenheim ... 0s-squared

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layzer
KVRAF
6531 posts since 11 Jun, 2006

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:45 pm

Hold Onto Your Head:

very DEVOish! meow haters will not like it
but i like meow sounds and cats so i enjoyed it.
mix lacks low end for my taste , but the comp and lyrics the usual top-wags
played to the end. :tu:
HW SYNTHS [KORG T2EX - AKAI AX80 - YAMAHA SY77 - ENSONIQ VFX]
HW MODULES [OBi M1000 - ROLAND MKS-50 - ROLAND JV880 - KURZ 1000PX]
SW [CHARLATAN - OBXD - OXE - ELEKTRO - MICROTERA - M1 - SURGE - RMiV]
DAW [ENERGY XT2/1U RACK WINXP / MAUDIO 1010LT PCI]

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wagtunes
KVRAF
15198 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:34 pm

layzer wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:45 pm
Hold Onto Your Head:

very DEVOish! meow haters will not like it
but i like meow sounds and cats so i enjoyed it.
mix lacks low end for my taste , but the comp and lyrics the usual top-wags
played to the end. :tu:
You know, you have so spoiled me with all you've taught me about this stuff. I listened to this today with headphones and the first thing I said to myself was "Where the hell is the bass?"

Yeah, it really lacks a low end and I think would be a lot better if it had it. I hear other minor problems as well. My ears are getting better trained. If I had the time I'd go back and redo a lot of my old tracks but I just don't have the time.

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Bansaw
KVRian
514 posts since 19 Aug, 2008

Re: The Wagtunes Corner

Post Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:40 pm

I like Losing Your Mind a lot. The opening actually reminded me of a Queen-like progression. I like the lyrics of At The End of the Day, but I think you need a thicker arrangement to support your voice.
Some of the stuff you do is like, "Wow, thats unique and very well written" and other stuff is like "meh" its like Russian Roulette what will come down the pipe next.

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