Synthesizing a "realistic" sounding enormous tom tom that doesn't exist

[Annabanna]

I need a sound fairly quickly, and frustrated after a few days of digging through thousands of tom samples, and layering with timpani, kicks, sine wave subs, etc.

Essentially, I want a tuneable (key tracked) highly controllable (need to be very precise about the timing and damping) sound of a giant extra-thick 110 gallon or so oil drum that is open on one end, highly dampened (thick rubber ring, for instance on open end), and has a drum head on the other that is a thick leather or rubber hybrid.

1) Strong fundamental in the sub region. No resonant head on the other end tuned higher or lower, so one clear note as fundamental.

3) A short-lived timpani style twant to the top end indicating that the shell is thick metal, but highly dampened.

3) A quickly decaying sound (thick head, shell dampening, and no resonant head)

Currently, I've got a low end coming from a triangle wave that starts a few octaves above the fundamental, and quickly dives down while turning into a sine wave (think 909 style kick) Playing along with all variations on ADSR shape, clipping, saturation, etc for that.

That much is OK for now, but not happy at all with the top end indicating the behavior of the head, so the higher attack sound, and twang of the head vibrating. I've given up on Chromaphone at this point, and the closest I've found is to tune down some timpani samples and high pass out all the rumble.

Since I'm digging into some of the melda synth tools now anyway for other reasons, I thought I'd ask if anyone has any pointers for particular tools that would be good at this.

This is a recurring theme for me, and I plan on spending quite a bit of time if necessary to develop highly customized "realistic" verisons of epic sounding drums that don't actually exist, and are highly modified (dampened, shortened, etc) to fit neatly into a dense mix.

EDIT: Somehow missed Chandler's vids on drum synthesis using physical modeling in my first search. Checking those out now as they may help