(REAPER) Dynamic Split Items- What am I doing wrong?

[ccDuckett]

*Note: posted also in REAPER Forums, just trying to maximize probability of helpful replies

For the life of me, I just can't seem to grasp the proper use of this, even though I'm very familiar with gating thresholds, transient detection, etc.

Let's say I want to apply the Groove tool in SWS to a sampled drum loop (yes, I realize that non-separated drum tracks will lead to problems for those trying to get different quantize values for kick vs hi-hat vs snare etc., but that's not relevant in this example). My desired end result is to have the sampled drum loop match the MPC 60% Swing setting I've applied to the MIDI tracks in a project. I know I have to use the DSI script first, and so pull it up. It's not that noisy of a sample, I can easily see even where softer hi-hat transients are; I figure "This shouldn't be too confusing for DSI as long as I set things properly." Yet, no matter if I use Transients only, Transients + any permutation of Gate settings, Gate settings only, or how I set thresholds for Transient or gating- nothing ends up behaving in an expected manner. I look at a threshold setting as it's displayed in the "preview", and can clearly see where transients break it- but the script will ignore them, and proceed to place splits in things like reverb tails, even when the threshold isn't set anywhere close to being persnickety- Reduce Split Points will take away obvious ones while leaving un-needed ones in. I find myself wishing the script was a human so I could say "Look, it's not complicated. Look at the screen- see where the short spiky bits are? Split the file at the beginning of those, and leave everything else alone."

I absolutely know it has to be me, and not the script, since there has been NObody with a similar issue. Trying many permutations of detection settings, in order to attempt elimination of PEBCAK due to mistaken assumptions, did not work. I searched away in here to see if this was "a thing", and what solutions there might be- but nope. Zip, zilch, nada, nothing. Hence, I have posted here, as embarrassing as it is.